jueves, 31 de enero de 2008

El Rincón del Crítrico Literario: hormigas

El tándem formado por los escritores Jouni Sorvari y Harri Hakkarainen (pseudónimo de las colaboraciones entre Ray Harrihausen y Kimi Räikkönen) ha demostrado, una vez más, que si existe algo en este mundo de mierda que ellos conozcan y sepan analizar con parsimonia y detalle, eso son las hormigas. Sus letras insertadas en el Ecological Entomology, 32:6 (707-711), en diciembre de 2007 bajo el título Wood ants are wood ants: deforestation causes population declines in the polydomous wood ant Formica aquilonia (Las hormigas de la madera son hormigas de la madera: la deforestación causa un descenso en las poblaciones de la hormiga de la madera policálica Formica aquilonia, para los bastardos incultos que no saben usar Google Translate), no hacen más que glorificar su desmesurada sabiduría sobre estos pequeños insectos negruzcos, con patas y antenas que solo sirven para hacer películas de dibujos animados y que los niños se diviertan pisándolos... ah, y que un puñado de entomólogos apocados los estudien.

Como sólo me he de ceñir a la forma y no al fondo de la obra, diré que ésta es de tamaño A4 y apenas 3 hojas a doble cara. Pero como soy un rebelde redimido y apenas alcanzo a comprender el significado del verbo redimir, me aventuraré a una larga discusión sobre el contenido y no el continente (que es Europa).

Para empezar, el título hace una clara alusión a otras obras de éxito de estos autores, como puedan ser Las hormigas rojas son hormigas rojas, Los formícidos son formícidos o, abordando temáticas menos conservadoras, Las termitas son termitas. Todas ellas publicadas en la colección infantil ¿Qué son los animales? de la editorial Editar, bien vale un duro.

En la obra, los autores, investigadores del Departamento de Biología de la Universidad de Turku, en Turku (Finlandia), hacen especial hincapié en que cualquier correspondencia dirigida a ellos sea enviada a Norwich (Reino Unido), lo cual denota cierto sentimiento de vergüenza de su origen o una clara intención de evasión de impuestos.

El cuerpo central de la obra hace referencia a las terribles consecuencias de la cada vez más habitual tala de bosques con arenques. A los animales forestales, no adaptados al pestilente aroma arenquil, no les queda otra que huir o suicidarse en Masa. Masa es una pequeña población de Finlandia que destaca por tener un precipicio seco de doscientos metros de altura con trampolín fijo, y la tasa más elevada de suicidios del país, vaya casualidad.

Volviendo al tema que nos atañe, los autores ya demostraron anteriormente que la hormiga Formica aquilonia no soporta vivir junto a los arenques. El resultado del 100% de hormigas muertas tras un periodo de 10 horas dentro de una pecera de arenques fue concluyente, para las hormigas. Resultado que se repitió en los experimentos con monos, gatos y elefantes, pero no con ballenas ni submarinos nucleares.

Según leí por ahí, las autoridades de Turku han decidido paralizar la importación de arenques para evitar la pérdida de biodiversidad, con el inconveniente de que ahora los árboles han de talarse de nuevo con motosierra, que como todo el mundo sabe es un sistema muy contaminante por el CO2 que emite.

Y como veo que me he vuelto a alejar de la interesantísima novela de Sorvari y Hakkarainen, contaré un chiste:

Van dos arenques por un bosque cuando uno le dice al otro:

-“¡Cuidado, un!”... chof!

-“¿Qué?”... chof!

Sí, ya se que no es exactamente así, pero de la otra manera no tenía tanta gracia.

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Por cierto, no será por un casual Dunwich en lugar de Norwich? Esta gente, con tanto arenque de por medio, me empieza a oler un poco a profundo...

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Arenques... profundos... Pues mira que a mí me da que se parecen más al besugo.

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